NUFFNANG

Sunday, November 30, 2008

....sigh....

'' You only stick with me for my friends. ''
'' You only stick with me for my name. ''
'' I doubt you ever love me before. ''
'' You are the worst girlfriend ever. ''
'' You are just being a bitch. ''

Imagine that.

Maybe I'm not good in putting it into sentences, that supposed to come out from my mouth over the phone. Thats why I kept silent. Maybe you didnt notice, I'm not blind of feelings. I am very hurt deep down. I am sorry if you are sick of my egoness, my immaturity, or just me. You should know me by now, I thought. I am sorry if what I did all these months are nothing and shits to you. You always acclaim of what you did for me, how much you did for me, all the troubles you went through for me. Just like you are the - - - - est between the two of us. Never came across your mind that I, actually sacrificed too? I guessed not. I promised to change but not expect it overnight.
These two days, I acknowledged the incidents at its least severity. I dont understand why is it a breaking point for both of us. '' A broken promise is a broken promise, '' you said. I am still unable to figure out, why is there no more compassion, no more love. '' I'm the one always come back to you, saying sorry. I'm tired, and about to burst. '' I broke a promise, you felt inferior. I got all the nasty words in my face, all the while I kept quite not? I bare it down not? I'm the one about to burst, I'm the one tired. Ultimately, I'm the one hurt.
I choosed to be bounded, to be controled over, to be ordered, to be everything you want me to be.

You asked me to win you back.
You asked me to fight for you.
Despite everything,
I will win you back. I will fight for you.

.....its because I truly love you.

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